Fake News Daily

Men Upset With McHammed's Threaten To Bomb

Hillbilly Town, TX, US. A statewide alert remained in effect in Texas Friday for two men accused of threatening to blow up the Pentagon. Hillbilly Town authorities and officials with the FBI and the Texas Department of Public Safety said a man in his 50s and a man in his 40s were apparently upset with the food and service at a McHammed's restaurant in Hillbilly Town, Texas, at about 2 p.m. Thursday when they made the alleged threats. The manager notified Hillbilly Town police about the threat

0 Comments
372 views

Guest
February 28, 200521 yr

Man Stabbed For 'Dirty Look'

Tokyo, Japan. An unemployed kid stabbed a stranger in front of Dragon Ball Station and was arrested this morning, police reported. The kid, Juichi "Long Knife" Ohura, 12, of no fixed address, has been accused of attempted murder. Ohura was lining up at the taxi stand in front of Dragon Ball Station in the capital's Chiyoda-ku and stabbed a man behind him in the chest at about 1:20 a.m. Ohura said the victim was giving him a dirty look when he turned around. "He w

0 Comments
409 views

Guest
April 4, 200521 yr

Man naked waist down nabbed after chase

Manteca, California, US. A suspect with no pants or underwear on broke his ankles trying to flee from Ripon Police Wednesday. Jonas M. Navarrete, 30, of Manteca, was apprehended on the roof of a shed and taken to San Joaquin County Hospital at around 9 p.m. The entire affair began when Ripon police officers noticed a black BMX bycicle around 8 p.m. that had a defective headlamp and had made an illegal left turn. Officers tried to stop the BMX as it entered southbound Highway 99, and a pursui

1 Comment
604 views

Guest
February 22, 200521 yr

Man Lodged Toothbrush in Rectum

Manchuria, China. A toothbrush was used to relieve a different "cavity" when a geriatric dumbass decided to use the dental instrument to scratch his hemorrhoids. The 79-year-old man ordered into the hospital after the toothbrush became lodged in his rectum. An X-ray revealed it was deep inside near his pelvis. Although this was first recorded case of a toothbrush having to be removed from the rectum, the Manchurian Dental-Anal Journal reports doctors have recovered toothb

0 Comments
683 views

Guest
April 25, 200521 yr

Man Finds 6-Foot Python In Toilet

A Ucranian man crapped his pants after awakening when he lifted the lid on his toilet and found a snake curled inside, with its head sticking out of the bowl. With the help of his son, Zradko Bolotov caught the snake using an improvised noose and put it in a pillowcase. The reptile was confirmed to be a 6-foot African python. Experts said the serpent is just a baby, as African pythons get as big as 20 feet long or longer. Bolotov called his boss to tell him he'd be late because he'd had to

0 Comments
3,004 views

Guest
February 25, 200521 yr

Man Detains Naked Intruder

Stabville, California, US. A man who awoke this Tuesday morning to find an armed and naked intruder standing over his bed, subdued the suspect until police arrived, authorities said. Enron Wallmart, 35, told police that the intruder identified as 18-year-old Niger Junkieson, was carrying a butter knife and said the anti-Christ had sent him to the house to kill Wallmart. Wallmart grabbed Junkieson and pulled him onto the bed by his testicules. After a short struggle, Junkieson was detained by

0 Comments
391 views

Guest
April 12, 200521 yr

Man Accused of Raping Cows

Jalisco City, Mx. Manuel Felipe Gutiérrez, 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves. A criminal complaint filed in Morelia Municipal Court said the farm's owners installed a motion detector after regularly seeing footprints and vehicle tracks on their land. Around 4 a.m. the next morning, a sensor sounded and Gutiérrez was caught leaving the barn, but Gutiérrez allegedly said he just used a bathroom in the barn and had never been

0 Comments
309 views

Guest
February 28, 200521 yr

Lawyer Accidentally Sues Self

Salt Lake City, Utah, US. Recent court documents made public this Tuesday, suggest that Jack Thompson, a lawyer known for his crusade against things including videogames, puppies, granny porn and electricity, accidentally sued himself in a class-action lawsuit filed two weeks ago in Florida district court. In The Association for Moral Judgment vs. Various Sons of Biatches, Thompson lays out a litigious framework so broad that he may have in fact sued ever

2 Comments
621 views

Guest
April 5, 200521 yr

Lamppost revenges from dog

Infiernillo, Alajuela, CR. A dog was electrocuted in Infiernillo when it urinated on a lamppost with a loose connection, I.C.E. officials in the town said today. The three-year old Argentinian mastiff named Güevon, was being walked by its owner in Infiernillo's fifth avenue, in northern Alajuela last evening. "It let out a yelp and died on the spot." told Jeffrey Potoy, a local neighbor who saw the incident. The owner, Jandy de la O, received a shock when he tried to help

1 Comment
500 views

Guest
February 24, 200521 yr

Israeli leader molested by ghost

Tel Aviv, Israel. According to government representatives, israeli prime Minister, Ariel Sharon has had contact with the undying ghost of legendary palestinian leader, Yasser Arafat. Arafat has been making requests on behalf of his people by some unorthodox means. "He (Arafat) has been showing up in Sharon's dreams, mirrors, underwear and home toilets" states a reliable israeli source. <br

0 Comments
440 views

Guest
February 17, 200521 yr

Inmates' Boredom Provokes Chaos

Dumbeley, Washington, US. Mario Juárez Pereira, general manager of the Dumbeley County Public Service Sewer District And Pedopholist Center, said the county has spent approximately $11,000 to clear out the jams during the past six months and more than 200 hours of inmigrate and underpayed labor, provoked from inmate boredom. "We know that inmates are likely to flush inappropriate things in an attempt to flood cells, or in an attempt, just out of boredom, of something else to do</i&

1 Comment
549 views

Guest
April 13, 200521 yr

Hall of Justice pronounces

After the US made public its <a href="http://www.gamingcr.com/forums/blog/xygvot/index.php?cmd=showentry&eid=17">plans to invade Mars</a> last thursday, the Hall of Justice has come to a decision. Based upon proofs provided by the US Army, in which is stated that Marvin the Martian is a tiranic military dictator, Hall of Justice's current president, Lex Luthor, has declarated as "completely dumb and stupid" Bush's intenti

0 Comments
1,058 views

Guest
February 21, 200521 yr

Game patch causes world chaos

Redmond, Seattle. Video Games hit developer, Blizzard Entertainment, has declared bankruptcy after their sales decreased, moments later after releasing patch 1.12 for their RTS game, StarCraft. "We got completely screwed up by the rally point", told Jimmy Cattler, Sales Department Director. Apparently, one of the patch features, changed the rally point from letter R+left mouse button to simply mouse left button. This

1 Comment
452 views

Guest
February 24, 200521 yr

Friend Meeting Ends Violently

Canuckheads, Canada. A recent police report states that a riot took place in a yet undisclosed area of Canuckheads forest, where a supposed close gang of friends turned out into a punch fest. According to local Canuckheads Sheriff Morgan Weedlegg, subjects were "under high influence of drugs and alcohol, like weed and vodka". It all turn violent when "that gay bear, from all of a sudden, started to say that he loved us and tried to hug us all," said a dr

3 Comments
547 views

Guest
March 7, 200521 yr

Frenchies to stop nuclear tests

Paris, France. French President Jacques Cirac announced today the stop of nuclear tests in the East Indian sea. The ecologists' representative, Sponge Bob Squarepants, said this was a like a "big pineapple, baha!". Furthermore, the cooperation between both authorities will allow the preservation of endangered species (including indonesians), and prevent any more tsunamis in the area.

0 Comments
368 views

Guest
February 17, 200521 yr

Fantasy Puppet Sues Jackson

Rome, Italy Achieving a life-long dream, the wooden puppet Pinocchio, turned into a true flesh and blood boy today and immediately announced his intentions to sue pop star Michael Jackson for molestation. "Now that I'm a real boy, I can finally get some recourse for the years of abuse I've suffered at the hands of Michael Jackson," said a tearful Pinocchio at a news conference arranged outside his home in a quiet section of Rome. "Maybe my suff

1 Comment
491 views

Guest
March 10, 200521 yr

Extreme disturbance in Earth’s core

Geologists in India and the rest of the world are receiving signals of a very disturbed mantel and core of the earth. According to some computer models, the outer core and the mantel is getting extremely heated. This can cause extreme tension on the earth’s crust and the tectonic plates. The net result can be increased earthquakes and volcanoes. The reports coming from every continent says that the volcanoes, geysers and mud volcanoes all are ready to explode. "It [eart

0 Comments
350 views

Guest
February 25, 200521 yr

Exclusive: Leaked Bocelli photoshoot pic

We've got an exclusive picture leaked from the latest Andrea Bocelli's photoshoot for his Latin America Tour. His concert was this past Saturday, with the assistance of who knows how many people. <center><img src="http://server3.uploadit.org/files/xYGVOT-bocelli_by_xygvot.jpg"></center>

2 Comments
492 views

Guest
March 4, 200521 yr

Doll Sparks Bomb Alert At Postoffice

Casablanca, Morocco. A blow-up sex doll sparked a bomb alert in a Morocco post office after it started to vibrate inside a package awaiting delivery, police said Wednesday. "Workers almost shat their pants when it began vibrating and made strange noises like 'Yeah yeah!' and 'Hannibal is sexy!'," a spokesman for police in the eastern city of Casablanca said. "They were worried the package might be a sex bomb." Officers brought the sender to the scene and

1 Comment
585 views

Guest
March 17, 200521 yr

Doll Mistaken For Alien

Ananova, Ukraine. A burnt rubber doll was mistaken for a badly injured alien and taken to a hospital in Ukraine. It happened after people in Ananova found a burnt "body" on the ground after seeing a fireball fall from the sky. A police spokesman told Pizdobol News: "Many people were terrified thinking that an alien invasion was taking place." "They thought the doll was a burnt E.T. and more than 50 people called the station." The "<

0 Comments
421 views

Guest
March 21, 200521 yr

Dalai Lama cancels quickie marriage

The Dalai Lama returned to Spain for the first time since his Euro tour last fall. While at first the nature of this visit was unknown, it was soon discovered that the Dalai Lama had come back to Barcelona to get an annulment for his whirlwind marriage to Mariana Canseca, 22, an aerobics instructor from La Coruña.A spokesman for the Dalai claimed that the couple had "simply made a mistake. The Dalai Lama had originally perceived Miss Canseca as a 'kind and ancient soul of wisdom', but in retrosp

0 Comments
394 views

Guest
February 16, 200521 yr

Company Spends Millions On Squirrels

Münich, Germany. A chocolate company CEO has spent millions of dollars training squirrels to crack nuts for his production line. "Turkish kids ain't fast enough", said Schaisse Schokolade Corp. CEO, Herrmann Himmler. "We got zo feed zem, but zeem started zo complain about ze dog food we gave zem, zo apart from making $0.5 an hour, zey complained!" Two thousand assasin squirrels have been imported from New Zealand to Schaisse Schokolade instalations. For

1 Comment
481 views

Guest
April 8, 200521 yr

Chimps Escape And Attack Staff

Tubo Caliente, California, US. Several chimpanzees escaped from their cages at an animal sanctuary and attacked workers, injuring two and abusing a woman, authorities said. At least one chimp was shot to death. One of the employees was badly injured when an chimp got a banana up his behind, and had to be airlifted to a hospital after the attack at the Animal Haven Ranch, about 20 miles from Bakersfield, said Cheryl Longwith, a sheriff's spokeswoman. The other employee's condition was not dis

0 Comments
328 views

Guest
March 4, 200521 yr

Cargo Worker Takes Unexpected Trip

Milwaukee, US. An airport worker loading baggage in Milwaukee got locked inside the cargo hold of an airplane that flew to Thailand. The worker, Juanillo Anderson, was “freaked out”, with some injuries from some bronco horses held within the cargo zone, a spokeswoman for Midwest Airlines said Friday. The cargo hold was heated and pressurized and full of bronco shiat. The man was stowing a wheelchair aboard the plane when other employees closed the cargo door because they di

1 Comment
526 views

Guest
March 29, 200521 yr

Airplane crashes, virus could be the cause

Poitiers, France. A Kaboom Airlines flight crashed-landed this evening, when the laser guidance system failed, reported Poitiers Airport authorities. All passengers seem to be alright, except for some minor missfortunes: "Several people shat their pants, but that's all" told Jean Pillé, involved pilot in the accident. "We got <a href="http://starmen.net/contests/aoe/67/CabezaGrande2.gif">this<a> and we had to reboot the system 3 times in a row</i&g

0 Comments
330 views

Guest
February 23, 200521 yr

Entries

Comments

Views

About this blog

Entries in this blog

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)

Chrome (Desktop)

Safari (iOS 16.4+)

Safari (macOS)

Edge (Android)

Edge (Desktop)

Firefox (Android)

Firefox (Desktop)