'Inadequate Music' Awakens Boy From Coma

San Carlos, New Jersey, US.

Music fan Carlos George Velázquez was unconscious for two weeks on a life support machine after being knocked down by an ice cream car on his twenty-ninth birthday.

Then his mother Toñita played him a CD by a lame punk-pop band, <b>Solitary Thong Wearing Men</b>.

Less than an hour after hearing the album, <b>Thong My Idiot</b>, Carlos had opened his eyes and was able to move his fingers and toes and then threw up.

"<i>It's a miracle! We're playing this in our church from now on!</i>", Toñita Ferguson told the press.

"<i>First thing he said after opening his eyes was 'Turn that f**king thing off for f**ks sake!'</i>" remembered Dr. Morgan Prestor.

Carlos George is now on psychological treatment since it appears his contact with this kind of material has shocked him.

"<i>We still don't know where the hell did Ms. Ferguson get that album from</i>", finished Prestor.

<center><img src="http://server3.uploadit.org/files/xYGVOT-L41257.jpg"><h5>Miraculous or obsene?</h5></center>