Humor de infarto

[Holy_COW]

Paint Job

A young blonde lady finds herself a little tight on cash, so makes a visit to her wealthy neighbor. "Is there any chore you need done? I need a little extra cash," she asks.

"Well, there is a task that I have been putting off," he replies. "Around the back of the house you'll see a porch that needs painting. Take this electric sander and this can of paint. Sand off all of the old paint, and then apply this new color, and I'll pay you $100."

So, she takes the sander and the paint and heads to the back of the house.

Much sooner than he expected, she returns with a worn-out sander and an empty paint can. She exclaims, "I'm finished!"

The man asks, "You actually sanded it down?

"Until all the old paint was gone," she replies.

"And then painted it?"

"Yes sir. Two coats, in fact."

"Well," muses the man, "That's the fastest paint job that porch has ever had."

"Actually, sir," the blonde says, a bit proud of herself, "that's not a porch."

"What do you mean?" asks the confused man.

"I may be blonde, but I do know the difference between a Porch and a Ferrari!"

OUCH!!!!

Otro mas de gratis:

Train Ride

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM , the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied. 'Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow! That's a great idea!' he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. 'Go get your own blanket!'

After a moment of silence.... he farted.

Edited January 15, 2008 by Holy_COW

[Dan's Belt]

'Good,' she replied. 'Go get your own blanket!'

After a moment of silence.... he farted.

LOL

El otro ya me lo sabia... pero igual es bueno.

[hB-ZeRaTuL]

acabo de darme cuenta que mi conocimiento en ingles ocupa que no me de pereza leerlo

[Holy_COW]

Uno nuevo para hoy:

Questions

A mother is driving her 7-year-old daughter to her friend's house for a play date when the little girl asks,"Mommy,how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replies sweetly. "It's not polite OK?"

The little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, a bit less sweetly. "Those are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

"That's enough questions, young lady, honestly!" mom says as her daughter is getting out of the car. The exasperated mother drives away as the two friends begin to play.v "My Mom won't tell me anything about herself," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are you are ... 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

Now mom's getting mad. She says, "Oh really? And just why is that, young lady?"

"Because you got an F in sex."

[Kaos]

"Because you got an F in sex."

[DARKYES]

'Good,' she replied. 'Go get your own blanket!'

After a moment of silence.... he farted.

"Because you got an F in sex."

LOL!! muy buenos

[xG.Battousai]

lawl tan buenos la verdad, ke lol la f en sexo xDDD