Pentagon TV To Invade Your Living Room

Washington DC, US.

The Bush administration will do just about anything to manipulate public opinion by producing their own news network: the <b>Pentagon Channel</b>, brought to you by the Defense Department.

Defense Department TV execs say it'll be "<i>a mix between Ripley's, Aljazeera and MTV's Jackass</i>," with military news and lifestyle shows, live briefings, wet t-shirt contests, and conduction by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld in bikini with some guest appearances by Britney Spears' mother.

Pentagon Channel programs include "<i>Why Should I Go And Die For Oil in the Middle East</i>," and "<i>US Army Destinations: which countries we're invading next.</i>"

Rumsfeld might consider a more realistic lineup. How about: "<i>Big Brother: Fallujah</i>"; "<i>Survivor: Afghanistan</i>"; "<i>Bush's Dumb Quotes</i>" and "<i>50 Ways to Violate Human Rights</i>".

There's also a show called "<i><b>Abu Garab Games</b></i>", where competitors test their capacities in contests like:<table align="center">

<tr>

<td align="center"><img src="http://images.google.co.cr/images?q=tbn:xY1hM0vgjxMJ:www.iwar.org.uk/news-archive/2004/pics/abctv_cbs_iraq_prisoner_electric_eng_150_30apr04.jpg"></td>

<td align="center"><img src="http://server2.uploadit.org/files/xYGVOT-dogs.jpg"></td>

<td align="center"><img src="http://server3.uploadit.org/files/xYGVOT-tower.jpg"></td>

</tr>

<tr>

<td align="center"><h5>Fight Gravity<h5></td>

<td align="center"><h5>Who Let The Dogs Out?<h5></td>

<td align="center"><h5>Nude Human Towers</h5></td>

</tr>

</table>

So fire up those TVs, Rummy Channel is here.

Will it be a hit? Hard to say.

Like Rumsfeld himself once said, "<i>As we know, there are known knowns ... We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know.</i>"

Word.

<center><img src="http://www.independent-media.tv/images/story/rumsfeld_fag.gif"><h5>Now we'll see that new episode of "<i>Everybody loves Rumsfeld</i>"</h5></center>